Desolation and Finding the Light Again It has taken me awhile to find my center again. Having had the wind knocked out of me this past year. Everything in my world seemed to be turned upside down as I struggled with all the changes that were thrust into my reality. Things were so dark and…

Sick of Ranting and Learning to Flirt Again The pages of my journal look like a war zone lately. Endless rants about how so much has changed. How much suffering I have been through this year. The chatter in my head with it’s unceasing critical accounts of all the mistakes I have ever made—the litany…

Writing what they won’t like and Project 333 Good thing I didn’t get rid of some of the boxes that I had only unpacked just last year. Little did I know that once again I would possibly be moving—really haven’t even cleaned the place that much. I suppose that is a good thing—I use to…

Writing When it all Falls Apart The house is quiet and the heat is on. I love wearing sweaters and have taken the warm ones out of their storage. I haven’t really even unpacked. The move here was in a rush of violence and shock. So many things that seemed to be alright were coming…

Spilling Emotions and the F word I get up very early now and watch the light change from grey to white. I have my little window that looks out into the yard. It used to be a more formal garden with my flowers in nice little circles and cute little-trimmed rows, but now it is…

The Madness of the Housewife Down she goes into the basement—dark—retrieving lord knows what. It had been so long since she even looked at some of these items. Stored away for the future. A future that now didn’t include the role of being a “housewife.” I never really wanted to get married. I had watched…

When People Think Your Crazy You live in this odd place between the reality you know and the one they try to put you in. It winds itself around you and at times becomes a crazy you learn to live with. It tends to become the very thing you try to deal with each time…

Beginning Again I left the psych ward shocked and still traumatized, but determined to get my life back. I didn’t know that a group of people could wish you ill and scheme to have you locked away. A fitting theme for Halloween, but like everything else lately things were getting even crazier. “A group of…

New Beginning And so each ventureIs a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate.So here I am, in the middle way, having had   twenty years –Twenty years largely wasted, the years of   l’entre deux guerres –Trying to use words, and every attemptIs a wholly new start, and a different kind   of failureBecause one has only learnt to get…

Mad Girl’s Love SongI shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;I lift my lids and all is born again.(I think I made you up inside my head.) The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,And arbitrary blackness gallops in:I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. I dreamed that you…