It’s one of those days; you know when you remember a time that at that time you wanted to forget, but you can now say; I got through that and it’s not great now, but like they say today –“ You got that!”

I missed writing here and my few followers that helped me to continue to put my pain, loss, and grief out there and write about it! I felt heard even if there were no comments, especially because I had been talking and rallying against the oppressive systems that keep us down! You know, the “Powers that Be!”

I, like you, often followed those voices that others often overlooked or ignored! I had become one of them unbeknownst to me. Not that I wasn’t the “Welfare kid,” growing up, but because after doing all the right things and trying to be so good, I still ended up being one of those people. You know, the ones that were never going to amount to anything.

The ones that continue to rage against the dying light in spite of having no followers, people calling you crazy repeatedly and the usual haters you’ve had since childhood. It’s been a long and lonely road, but I’m slowly making my way again; wiser, stronger, and far more protective of myself!

It’s been the hottest Summer I can remember. I moved into my 5th place this year still dealing with the same haters and harassment that have followed me since I was a child. Some of them family that continue to re-write history, even getting Law Enforcement to go along with them, but as I finally come to terms with so many of their lies I feel a new sense of lightness. A new path has opened up calling me forward!

For the last 5yrs, I woke up each morning crying, dealing with the shock of it all, and trying to pick up the pieces of what was left of my life. They had often in the past thrown me to the wolves, but this time it was so horrible I have only just recently been released from the shock that buffered me from most of it until I was ready.

Shock, like my eating disorder as a teenager, had become my new friend helping me survive the current hell my abusive family unleashed on me this time. Most days I could not believe I was alive! Days of just trying to survive.

It’s been a year since my last entry here. It was Fall then too. I had been excited about finally getting a safe place, a room; someplace to call home.

Namaste Dear Readers!